I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
