She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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