..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
