No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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