Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize