you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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