Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
