Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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