Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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