let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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