the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
