I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
