like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
