I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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