I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
