My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
