Me. At least after what I've been through.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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