I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We are two peas in an std pod
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
