i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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