just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
