I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
