I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize