Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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