...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
