Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
