I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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