Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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