You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
