Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Use "feeling words"
Yay
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
