what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
