i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
