i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
