ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
