it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
