And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
