there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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