I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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