Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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