Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
