I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
