so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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