He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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