Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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