my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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