it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
