please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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