Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just gargled with NyQuil
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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