But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
