So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If its not for food we ain't going out.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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