so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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