Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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