ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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