therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
