at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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