Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm at about main and main street
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
