Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
