Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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