Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
