apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
