pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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