I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
