How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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