Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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