The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sarcasm needs its own font
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
