so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
