Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The feeling are messing with the penis
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
