I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
