how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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