just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
