So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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