it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She needs sedatives and a leash
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
