Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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