overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
