He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
