So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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