i can't believe i had my finger in that
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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