I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my phone needs a breathalizer
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
