he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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