Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
